10 day wank ban

Thats right, im currently 3 days into a 10 day wank ban imposed by my Mistress Suzanna Maxwell.

my crime i hear you ask, was to cum on an edging count of 2 and not 13 as i was commanded to during a filming day on Wednesday.

Miss was not happy at my premature failure and issued this ban after beating my cock and balls post orgasm....that hurt.

Her initial sentence was 31 days! but then She realised i would be worshipping Her in session 10 days later so reduced my sentence to 10 days

Mistress has had me in chastity for prolonged periods from January this year, but this is my first ban on touching. i am still to worship Her each morning and each evening but not touch myself....it is hell now and we're only a 3rd in...:(

When one of the other subs who we were filming with realised i could not cum for 10 days he asked how i did this, as 3 days for him - and lets face it most males - is too long.

We fundamentally i have no choice, as Miss has instructed it. She has made me go 13 days before now which i have succeeded in doing, difference was i was at least allowed to touch each evening....this is a total ban.

So, pretty much 72 hours after my last very ruined orgasm, presumably i have another 240 hours to go.......i say presumably because im not even sure if Miss will allow my release when worshipping Her...??
She generally takes delight in painfully and repeatedly edging me before ruining the orgasm in various ways and She has hinted at multiple forced milking sometime soon.

Mistress will decide the fate of my ban and release and i am more than happy with this as i work towards my collar and ownership......this is if i can keep my hands off my cock for another 7 days......

sorry about the lack of updates...i do need to try harder..;)

OK so i'm glad to know that Miss didnt keep me from orgasm from that day till this, in fact She allowed my release on day 13.

How She did it took me by complete surprise, and arguably provided me with my first public humiliation experience.

After treating Miss to a nice light lunch i was told i had to go to the toilet to release....and film it, so She could view it when i returned..as i walked to the toilet, hoping no-one else was in there i just felt small. i had to film it, i couldnt see my Mistress either in person or an image so i had to imagine, dream, reminisce....anything to drive that vision of beuaty that would drive my erection and ultimately release.....in a public toilet.

As i walked back from my deed feeling like the whole world knew what i had just done, Mistress simply asked for my phone so She could view it...........i felt small, humiliated, degraded but proud that i had done what my Mistress wanted, and pleased for Her that i excepted my training without expectation or question and with total trust She is my Mistress.

So, where am i with my training? Seven sessions in and i feel totally owned. i now just simply submit to Her. When i have the privileged of worshipping Miss in person, i know not of what i will be subjected to. Whats more, i dont care, im not worried about it as long i can worship Her, feel Her the pain She expertly deliveries and make Her happy then i am happy. i do know however that Miss's favourite is beating men for their pain and Her pleasure, so each session i fully expect (and have received) a harder beating than last time

Miss Suzanna can certainly deliver pain - Her whipping and caning skills are renown, and my levels are pathetically low.
Miss has taken up the challenge to train me, and each and every session i receive a beating - i mark easily which delights Her and i am always pushed to the edge of being broken, i force myself to take more and more for my Mistress.

Under Miss Suzanna's guidance, i have been subjected to many experiences - some new, some not, some off my fantasy list, some that push my limits - but all executed with skill, confidence, quality and class.

Long may this continue.

sf

Day 11 of no release.

11 days maybe considered by some as an eternity and others barely into their stint for me its teetering on the unknown again, as my record so far is 11 days...tomorrow Miss Suzanna once more breaks new ground with Her latest project.

Its strange how the ebb and flow of arousal goes when forbidden like this, this probably due to my trust in my Mistress and my choice to be honest.

im not in chastity and im not on a wank ban, in fact Miss requires me to  masturbate for a prescribed time each night which provides devotion. Occasionally this time is altered which not only adds frustration, but forces me to edge myself and then suffer the blue ball ache that follows prolonged erection without release. Of course my Mistress knows all too well the effects of Her remote, cruel ways.

As i sit here pondering i know not of when i will get the permission to ejaculate, neither do i seek to ask for permission as i will simply wait for Miss Suzanna to make Her choice known to me.

my Her balls feel full and heavy, it feels like She has a gentle grip around them all day, exerting a little pressure, likely from the 11 days of build up so far. Its not painful as such, but i am aware of it, aware that they are full and feel a lot heavier than im used to. im aware i cannot simply go home, select some suitable material and release the pressure......until i am told to do so. That is a nice feeling, frustrating, but nice.

Throughout my fledgling path to devotion, i have only been allow to cum once per week. Sometimes and definitely the week before i worship Miss in session, the permission is witheld and my orgasm is denied.

During my normal week long denial there is an raft of emotions. Generally Mondays are relaxed after release day, Tuesdays and Wednesday build back up the Thursday are a big test. For some reason giving me the urge to wank, and frustration that i cant. When pushed to go longer than a week, days 8, 9 and 10 generally are OK but it really reinforces my subservient and compliance together with constant thinking of Mistress, and ways to serve and please.

All of this goes to a wonderful connection with my Mistress and ratchets the desire to worship, obey, serve and please.

Cum control

For the last 5 months i have been in no doubt that Mistress controls my orgasms. She controls when, where and how they are delivered. i have a regime that i willingly stick by that ensures Mistress is at the forefront of my thoughts before bedtime and as i wake, it works as i adore Her and are constantly thinking of ways to please Her.

This week i have have displeased my Mistress which was met with the expected, and indeed wanted punishment. The punishment handed out was no cumming until She decides. Normally, i am allowed release on a specific day of the week - i know what that day is and very look forward to my weekly climax. This week however is now very much different as i dont know when i will get the permission, to cum.....or even if i will get that permission this week.

As i sit and write this, pondering my situation i am under no illusion that i cannot cum on my specified day - which is Sunday - unless my Mistress instructs me

As i write this it has been 9 days now since release, obviously my balls are full and heavy, my worship regime tonight will ensure they ache too, and certainly ache for the instruction.

Just a few word from my compliant and frustrated situation i find myself in - i got my self into as i was weak and could not resist worship outside of my permitted times. This in itself is a very difficult task due to Mistress's total beauty but normally i control myself....some how. This time i failed now i have to wait patiently until Mistress instructs my release.......i hope it's not to many more days...x

\OK so im now some 4 months into devotion to Miss Suzanna, and what a start to this journey it has been. i'm definitely loving the new way.

The first challenge, was the instruction to follow a nightly routine - without question. This routine, is/was a total departure to my normal ways, and very different. Its purpose? to build the desire to worship Miss. It was and remains very effective.

Miss Suzanna is gorgeous, that is not in question, but the change from the session once in a while mindset to absolute devotion and round the cloak thinking needed to be made. Miss Suzanna recognised that from the start and set about that change with my new routine from day 1.

With devotion, came some unexpected challenges and changes. Firstly, and quite obviously really due to the meaning of devotion, i now have no need to watch the clips and films i have collected.....devotion to Miss is exactly that, so any worship will be to Miss S only.

Secondly, as distance is somewhat of a consideration, i need to plan my sessions, my personal worship time. This involves consideration, or re-consideration of other obligations that involve travel time during the working week, as i only have a set amount of that free time. So this first gets offered to Miss and Her needs and or desires as i do have a set of skills which are hopefully of use to Miss outside of personal worship time. If my Mistress chooses not to use them, then maybe i can use some of that time for myself....but its Miss S's first. During the latter 2 months of the journey, She has taken the options and has my time planned into July currently.

To say i wasn't really prepared for this level of time allocation would be a fair statement - but im totally committed, resolute and thinking about it as i have an absolute desire to please - whether that be as She chooses to use my time, or not as that please's Miss S too. my only objective is to please Miss Suzanna.

What this has achieved, together with the daily routine is to instil that 24 hour thinking about Mistress, and Her potential needs and desires, i merely try to provide that devotion She deserves.

im loving this change....

do i want to session with anyone else? No.

Are there Mistress's who i'd love to session with if i wanst now devoted to Miss S? Of course....there are some stunning Domina's i never got the chance with unfortunately.

do i want to worship Miss Suzanna daily? Yes if i could.

i love being owned by Her, working towards being collared and looking forward to Miss S turning more of my fantasies into reality....xxxx

Ok, so this blog is about the background to the start of my journey with Miss Suzanna Maxwell.

It is a long one – you may choose to read it, you may not. For those in hurry or not wishing to read my musings, the main point is that I’m pleased to announce as of February 2018 I began my devotion to Miss Suzanna Maxwell with the goal of working towards my collar.

Miss Suzanna and I had discussed this plan and its implications for a while now, first muting it back in the summer of 2017. We began its inception a few weeks ago and I have been pleased to be guided and corrected in my first two sessions on this path thus far.

So I will share some thoughts on this, some points are personal between Miss Suzanna and I and will remain so, other points some people may be interested in. Some points I’d just quite like to share on the web

I will try to address three points here. Why now? Why Miss Suzanna and what happens to my photography and filming? Going forward, I'd like it to be a kind of insight from an sub’s view in this journey.

Firstly, this is my first ever contemplation and journey into devotion. The vanilla world is good to me day to day  – I like the switch to the sub side and have not entered a sub/Domme relationship…..that doesn’t make me a bad person. It also doesnt mean that i would not seek and thrive in a sub/Domme relationship in the future should the opportunity arise.....who knows in this lovely kinky world i am discovering. 

I have been sessioning with pro Dommes since 1994, albeit in frequently – maybe 3 or 4 times per year. I have still suffered/enjoyed all manner of fetishes administered by a select bunch of Dominatrix. Some of these were sessions great, most were exquisitely brilliant & a few were mind blowingly astronomically amaze-balls.

In my sessioning todate I have met and sessioned with some wonderful and inspiring women.

Anyone who knows me knows how much respect I give to the dominant women.

I take this respect up a notch with certain people who, for a variety of reasons have given me a little more inspiration. Beit their professionalism, their trust in me before we met, their continued trust in me or simply the way they treat or have treated me – all above and beyond and outside of the session time.

Miss Suzanna is in the later described handful of people, and was from the very first time I met her. 

This was in a dungeon car park for a photoshoot in September 2016. Pretty much her first words to me – as I was on the phone concluding a business deal – was “I hate my photo taken, I have no idea how to pose and I you’ll have to tell me exactly what to do” all as she was hugging me and I was trying to finish my phone call. I had met Miss Suzanna Maxwell.

Anyway, we did the shoot – the results are well published – and we both concluded it a big success. We were to shoot a further two times after with equally impressive results. The connection was good.

It’s worth noting I have never, ever, done a photoshoot with an ulterior motive – those who know, know – my only goal is to ‘get the shot’.

Also of note is that until Club Pedestal November 2016, I had never been to…or really courted a fetish club. At Her request, and following just one shoot and one session, i was proud to accompany Miss Suzanna on that evening.

So, I have great connections - and friendships - with other beautiful Dommes…..……why Miss Suzanna?

This is a question I dont really have an answer for. I have discussed this with Suzanna Herself too,  neither of us can explain. My only answer to this is 'the connection' I feel towards Her. - and I know She feels the connection is mutual.This is over and above what is normal, and hence why its difficult explain. 

Yes, She is beautiful, funny, demanding, fair, compassionate, relentless, understanding, harsh, knowledgeable, a sadist and an true believer in Female domination.

Maybe during the coming months we can get a better explanation as to the answer to 'why Miss Suzanna', but for now thats all i can offer im afraid. 

So why now?

In my other hobby I have photographed more than 50 women of the dominant nature stretching back to my first shoot with Mistress Chatterley in 2010. 

This started and evolved from shooting glamour into a fairly uncontrollable fetish shooting beast in 2015 & 2016, putting me under pressure to shoot with people and in places that may or may not have been my choice.

I didnt like this out of control feeling, but loved the shooting Mistress'es idea so it was difficult to stop.

So, after more than 20 years of sessions and years of shooting i needed to do something different.

To be fair, I have had the craving to do something different for a couple of years now but unsure where my next direction should be, and having tried unsuccessfully to arty things up I took a back seat in 2017. 

Mid way through last year i had some inspiration...park all the wandering infrequent sessioning and shit shooting time/costs and concentrate on devotion to 1 Mistress with a goal of being collared.

There was no question who I would like to be collared by....if possible, if She would even consider me/it.

As I've said, I have some really good connections, with some really great Dommes, and elite faves after 20 years - but something prevented my approach, other than to Miss Suzanna - location, session availability, perception, time, reciprocation, maybe session activities too...

The first challenge I had here was the language. Having not been a lifestyle sub, I found the speak a little strange (after 20 odd years!!) and Im not sure I still fully understand it now....... but that is part of the learning.

What happens to photography?

It continues. Miss has made it perfectly clear that She approves of my photography hobby and She doesn't want me to stop.

It is also clear that I am not allowed to session with anyone else (obviously) which extends to clip filming activities, unless filmed with Miss Suzanna in attendance.

Photoshoot's are allowed and will continue until either I cannot sustain devotion and photography, or Miss S tells me otherwise...;)

So, they're you have it. I am by far a literary genius but I feel I have a story to tell and maybe this is the forum to tell it.

I'm some 2 months into it currently, and with 2 sessions done, correction administered, loads of firsts accomplished with Miss S and with a year of plans and targets fleshed out, my blogging will be more frequent and improve I'm sure.

Next time will be shorter, but describe the formative steps and maybe some detail of that first session under devotion.

take care

slave flash

New blog coming tonight, about the start of my journey with my mistress, Miss Suzanna Maxwell