Day 11 of no release.

11 days maybe considered by some as an eternity and others barely into their stint for me its teetering on the unknown again, as my record so far is 11 days...tomorrow Miss Suzanna once more breaks new ground with Her latest project.

Its strange how the ebb and flow of arousal goes when forbidden like this, this probably due to my trust in my Mistress and my choice to be honest.

im not in chastity and im not on a wank ban, in fact Miss requires me to  masturbate for a prescribed time each night which provides devotion. Occasionally this time is altered which not only adds frustration, but forces me to edge myself and then suffer the blue ball ache that follows prolonged erection without release. Of course my Mistress knows all too well the effects of Her remote, cruel ways.

As i sit here pondering i know not of when i will get the permission to ejaculate, neither do i seek to ask for permission as i will simply wait for Miss Suzanna to make Her choice known to me.

my Her balls feel full and heavy, it feels like She has a gentle grip around them all day, exerting a little pressure, likely from the 11 days of build up so far. Its not painful as such, but i am aware of it, aware that they are full and feel a lot heavier than im used to. im aware i cannot simply go home, select some suitable material and release the pressure......until i am told to do so. That is a nice feeling, frustrating, but nice.

Throughout my fledgling path to devotion, i have only been allow to cum once per week. Sometimes and definitely the week before i worship Miss in session, the permission is witheld and my orgasm is denied.

During my normal week long denial there is an raft of emotions. Generally Mondays are relaxed after release day, Tuesdays and Wednesday build back up the Thursday are a big test. For some reason giving me the urge to wank, and frustration that i cant. When pushed to go longer than a week, days 8, 9 and 10 generally are OK but it really reinforces my subservient and compliance together with constant thinking of Mistress, and ways to serve and please.

All of this goes to a wonderful connection with my Mistress and ratchets the desire to worship, obey, serve and please.

Cum control

For the last 5 months i have been in no doubt that Mistress controls my orgasms. She controls when, where and how they are delivered. i have a regime that i willingly stick by that ensures Mistress is at the forefront of my thoughts before bedtime and as i wake, it works as i adore Her and are constantly thinking of ways to please Her.

This week i have have displeased my Mistress which was met with the expected, and indeed wanted punishment. The punishment handed out was no cumming until She decides. Normally, i am allowed release on a specific day of the week - i know what that day is and very look forward to my weekly climax. This week however is now very much different as i dont know when i will get the permission, to cum.....or even if i will get that permission this week.

As i sit and write this, pondering my situation i am under no illusion that i cannot cum on my specified day - which is Sunday - unless my Mistress instructs me

As i write this it has been 9 days now since release, obviously my balls are full and heavy, my worship regime tonight will ensure they ache too, and certainly ache for the instruction.

Just a few word from my compliant and frustrated situation i find myself in - i got my self into as i was weak and could not resist worship outside of my permitted times. This in itself is a very difficult task due to Mistress's total beauty but normally i control myself....some how. This time i failed now i have to wait patiently until Mistress instructs my release.......i hope it's not to many more days...x